Laughable
by hhrpryd42
Summary: One-shot, rated for language. A research project on the school’s recently-acquired computers goes horribly wrong when Harry accesses some...strange files. (No, head out of the gutter) How does he react and what exactly are these evil things?


**Laughable**

Summary: One-shot, rated for language. A research project on the school's recently-acquired computers goes horribly wrong when Harry accesses some...strange files. (No, no, head out of the gutter!) How does he react and _what exactly are these things?_

* * *

Oh, shit.

Harry Potter was pissed. Oh, yes he was, very much indeed. There he was, a perfectly innocent schoolboy, logged on to the new Hogwarts computers to do a bit of research that didn't involve lugging a book around for a week – and what did he find but the most blasphemous, horrifying, ludicrous, horrendous, _disgusting_ thing he had ever seen? Not even when Dudley had made him do "research" on the human body (female) had he seen such _evil_ things.

A thundercloud seemed to be forming over his head as his eyes grew wider and wider…he scrolled down, eyebrows forming one angry, arched line on his forehead…a vein started forming on his temple and his fists clenched tightly on the poor little mouse.

In the name of all things respectable – _what the hell is this?_

There are _pages and pages_ of this bull.

They were pictures, of Ron and Hermione…doing…horrible…things…

He shut his eyes to block out the thought and resolved to never do a research project on Haitian Thick-skulled Herons _ever_ again.

Where did people come up with these things? He shuddered, and motioned to exit the window, but morbid curiosity kept him going on…

Oh, dear God! There was now a plethora of blue links scrolling down his browser window…mortified, Harry clicked one…

It was a story.

About Ron and Hermione.

Only…

"WHAT!" Harry bellowed, slamming his fists into the desk and roaring like a wounded hippo. "HERMIONE!"

She came running, clutching her wand and a sharp, pointy poker from the fire. "What is it?" Her eyes were ablaze. "Who's attacking you, Harry?"

He stared. "Um…nobody."

Relaxing visibly, she sighed, "Oh, that's good," and dropped the poker.

Back to business! Mustn't get sidetracked! Harry pulled her down by the elbow to look at this _satanic, cursed_ product of Muggle idiocy – surely no wizard was as _evil _as that!

He watched her face intently as her practiced eyes flew over the page…her eyebrows touched the skies…then she let out a snort of annoyance and then fell over onto the floor in the throes of wild, uncontrollable laughter.

Harry sat in the chair, watching his brilliant best friend roll around on the floor laughing her insides out, and had nothing to do but stare for a straight five minutes.

At last Hermione stopped laughing and came up for air, grabbing Harry's arm to use as leverage on the way up. "What _is _that, anyway?"

He scanned the screen. "Well, it's being called a…um…how do you say this…"

"Faaaannnn-fic?"

"Is that how you pronounce it?"

"How would I know?"

Harry frowned. "It doesn't matter! What it's saying is that…ah…"

"It thinks that I'm going to get pregnant with Ron's baby." A stupid grin materialized on Hermione's face. "Oh my God, that's just…" Another short peal of laughter. "Harry, that's just laughable!"

He blinked.

Again, he blinked.

This was not expected at all.

"You mean…" he pointed at the screen. "This isn't true."

Hermione stared at him curiously. "No!"

Harry visibly relaxed. "Oh, that's good, then. But…" He looked uneasy again. "What is it? Some form of dark magic?"

She sighed and settled into her lecture-mode, arms crossed and head tilted slightly. "A fanfic, I'm guessing, is a story about something that will _never, ever happen._ Not on your life. I'm also guessing that someone wrote them to satisfy his or her ego." She snorted derisively. "I mean, there are people around Hogwarts who think Ron likes me. The rumors around here are ghastly."

Harry resisted the urge to throttle something then and there, instead mentally throttling himself when his lips burst forth with a question – "But do you like him?"

She gave him an odd look.

He waited.

Finally, she spoke. "No." Her tone was…strange. He couldn't place it. "No, I don't like Ron as in a love-him way. No." A mischievous smile fashioned itself on her lips. "That'd be someone else."

And she pranced out of his long-armed reach, grinning at him. "But Ron? No! That's just laughable, Harry, it's simply laughable. Now get back to your research. Haitian Thick-skulled Herons are so simple, it's hard to write ten paragraphs on them – not like Hippogriffs." A wink. "And we do know a little something about Hippogriffs."

* * *

A/N: (giggles)

…

(giggles again)

XD! That was so much fun! Funfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfun!

But anyway, let me explain: Harry did a research project on Haitian Thick-skulled Herons (giggles) but somehow ended up accessing the archives of some R/Hr shipper in Hogwarts. So his eyes were exposed to this…this…strangeness, and he called Hermione over to explain. She turns out to be researching Hippogriffs… (NUDGENUDGE)

(sits and anticipated review drought) Yes, I know this was silly, but it was fun!

Ja ne,

Misao7


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